A lot has happened in the news since I’ve been writing regularly. The Brock Turner rape case. The Orlando shooting. Trump spouting more hate. These are the things I believe that writers should write about. I believe that writers have the power to be activists, to promote change through their writing. In fact, that’s one of the reasons I started this blog. I wanted to promote change, mostly within myself, but maybe within others who were struggling with similar issues. I wanted to identify my own feminism, and help others identify theirs. I wanted to be a voice for the things I believe. I’ve achieved that goal. I have a small, but steady following on this blog, and I now have readers in other places. So, I feel like I should be writing about the sad things taking place in this country. But the truth is, I just can’t.
It’s not that I don’t have anything to say. I have a thousand things to say. When I heard about the Brock Turner case I exploded with rage. I yelled in my living room for a solid five minutes. I have yelled about it in many other conversations. My heart broke in to a thousand pieces when I heard about Orlando. I cried. A lot. I reached out to my dearest people and told them how much I loved them. I cried some more. I heaved more than one exasperated sigh when Trump took up the cry of hatred against Muslims. I wanted to rage, but I’m all raged out at Trump. I can’t do it anymore. My outrage and outspokenness has done nothing to stop his overtaking of my country.
The truth is that I am too sad to really process any of these things. I am too sad to break them down, analyze them, and come up with some insight. I’m too sad to use my voice for activism on these things right now. I hope that soon I will be able to write about these things. These posts will be overdue and I probably won’t be able to say anything that hasn’t already been said, but I will add my voice to the Internet chorus when I’m ready. But I need more time. I need more time to grieve. I need more time to think. I need more time to process. I need more time to really understand the impact of these events.