So Sad

A lot has happened in the news since I’ve been writing regularly. The Brock Turner rape case. The Orlando shooting. Trump spouting more hate. These are the things I believe that writers should write about. I believe that writers have the power to be activists, to promote change through their writing. In fact, that’s one of the reasons I started this blog. I wanted to promote change, mostly within myself, but maybe within others who were struggling with similar issues. I wanted to identify my own feminism, and help others identify theirs. I wanted to be a voice for the things I believe. I’ve achieved that goal. I have a small, but steady following on this blog, and I now have readers in other places. So, I feel like I should be writing about the sad things taking place in this country. But the truth is, I just can’t.

It’s not that I don’t have anything to say. I have a thousand things to say. When I heard about the Brock Turner case I exploded with rage. I yelled in my living room for a solid five minutes. I have yelled about it in many other conversations. My heart broke in to a thousand pieces when I heard about Orlando. I cried. A lot. I reached out to my dearest people and told them how much I loved them. I cried some more. I heaved more than one exasperated sigh when Trump took up the cry of hatred against Muslims. I wanted to rage, but I’m all raged out at Trump. I can’t do it anymore. My outrage and outspokenness has done nothing to stop his overtaking of my country.

The truth is that I am too sad to really process any of these things. I am too sad to break them down, analyze them, and come up with some insight. I’m too sad to use my voice for activism on these things right now. I hope that soon I will be able to write about these things. These posts will be overdue and I probably won’t be able to say anything that hasn’t already been said, but I will add my voice to the Internet chorus when I’m ready. But I need more time. I need more time to grieve. I need more time to think. I need more time to process. I need more time to really understand the impact of these events.

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2 thoughts on “So Sad”

  1. Radiant Robin!
    Thank you for all the courage and perseverance and authenticity and generosity you clearly possess to know yourself and share your insights with others. You write wonderfully engagingly, and you are beautiful!
    I am actually responding to your Jane/yahoo piece I read this (summer solstice) eve. I relate absolutely to your struggle. I also dare mention a few things that have helped me:
    1) you may have genetic heritage that (coming from a family of “Pollacks” I’ve seen) that dictates a rounder and more stout femininity. My Pollack aunties and cousins and grandma are the most beautiful women on the planet (and fun and authentic). Wouldn’t trade their strength and leadership and fearless-seeming bold pursuit of fun and loving and life force for thin thighs any hour of any day. With these same genes typically comes a blood type O, which does great with fishes, wild/grass-fed game or meats; and veggies and a few northern fruits, but badly with grains. And our thyroid a tend to be sluggish, just sub clinically, so that we are colder and slower in the mornings, and might benefit from a half grain if pig/Armour thyroid per day. Check morning basal temperature a few mornings first thing and chat with your doc about that possibility. My grandma ran hot, mom ran average, auntie also, but 3 aunts and uncle ran a bit low.
    2) Buggers. Good buggers. I think our culture f***ks up our flora– the antibiotics and chlorine and radiation (and more) wipe out our good flora, and the starches help replace them with simple cell yeasts. This ravaged metabolism and will keep us fat, bloated, craving, and early-arthritic. My favorite solution: first sweeping the system a but with a ton of greens and no starch/sugar and then “implanting”‘the only probiotic I’ve ever used that works (because it does not contain too much acidophilus; it DOES contain bifidum, which is key for us; and it is refrigerated and kept in dark glass with cotton and does not have so many different strains of flora that they all kill one a other: try 5 days (with non-chlorinated water and away from coffee and mouthwash) of the smallest bottle of Natren “Healthy Trinity”.
    3) combined with messed-up flora, I think the thing that makes some of us most vulnerable to brain/mood/metabolic disorders is food sensitivities (that are immunoglobulin and inflammatory responses and trigger a cascade of reactions, whether you think they originated with leaky gut or yeasts or parasites or not). Honestly, if I do a non-allergen therapeutic eating regimen for a week; then a greens heavy sweeping cleansing few days; then implant good live bifidum– and I move 4-5 days/week (walks in favorite places or a 20-minute swim/otter play session or dancing wildly will work), and I breathe, I re-set my metabolism, and, so long as I avoid the sensitivities/allergens/triggers, my metabolism runs rifts, and I am not thin, but about 108-116 on a 5’2″ frame.

    I’ve so much respect and affection for you, and wish you fabulous health, continued exuberance, and joy!

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    1. Thanks for taking the time to read the article and to connect with me here! I have done cleansing type diets in the past for possible food allergies and even under the guidance of a medical professional they had the effect of triggering my eating disorder. I’m glad to know you’ve found something that works for you! For me, I have to stick to allowing all foods in my diet in order to be sane.

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